Genius Silenced

On Monday, September 22, 2014, I returned from Ashland, Oregon having attended and co-facilitated a session entitled, "What Would Love Do Now?" at the Holistic Teaching and Learning Conference. The night before our session, the still small voice within prompted me to sign up to share a song with those who had gathered for open mic night. This was my first time for such a vulnerable experience. Since 2007, I have been walking a passionate journey to re-member the genius gifts I have come to share. As a result, I have written, revised, revised, re-worked, printed, bound and shared many versions of a Vision of Peace and Prosperity that includes components similar to those found in a traditional Business Plan.

After seven years of advanced studies in transcendent technologies in a school without walls,  or known curriculum, content standards, or course statements, I declared that I was ready to share my unique soul signature. I am here to IGNITE FIRES OF REMEMBRANCE in ways that inspire others to embrace the priceless genius they have come to share--no matter how far out there they may seem.

Below is the story I shared that night. . .well, the part that can be translated into the written word.

"I love my first-grade teacher. She saw me. She made school such fun that I wanted to go to school everyday. I think one of the things I enjoyed most was when we sat with her on the orange carpet for circle time. She would pull out her guitar and we would sing along to songs like, "You are My Sunshine."

On Saturday mornings when I would watch one of my favorite shows, I missed my teacher. I can't remember the name of the show, I just remember that at the beginning of each show, a funny dressed woman would look through her very large magnifying glass and she would see you. Well, not me. Every Saturday, I watched and waited for her to see me. She would see Johnny and Bill. Sue and Nancy and many others. But she never saw me.

I love my first-grade teacher. She saw me. One day in circle time, before we had a chance to sing along, my teacher pulled out a big black vinyl record and placed it on the player. When she gently placed the diamond needle on the vinyl, the song played through. My soul knew the song. Even though the words didn't make sense because they weren't English, I knew the song. Years later I learned that the sound she was playing on the record was opera.

Well, that day in circle time, I tried to impress my teacher and do my best because I loved her so much. I loved our time singing together in circle. So, when she put away the record player and got out her guitar, we started singing, "You are my sunshine." As she strummed the melody, I sang along in the only way my soul knew. With each line of the song, I carried the tone like I had just heard from the record.

In the middle of the second verse, my teacher stopped the song.  She stopped the guitar. And, she looked straight at me, and exclaimed, "Will whoever is doing that, please stop!" And that's what I did. I stopped singing, for nearly forty years. I even mouthed the words to "Happy Birthday."  I stopped singing for nearly forty years. I shared with the audience that it wasn't until just a few years before that I learned that the unique genius I have to offer the world is through the vibrational frequency that emanates from the sound of my voice.

It has been quite journey. In fact, it wasn't until the Spring of 2006, when I was teaching a high school business and management class, that I was called to sing. During class, every Friday we would have an opportunity to practice our impromptu speaking. The class was a group of leaders who ran the high school branch of the credit union and competed at Future Business Leaders of America. I helped them to hone their speaking skills. Each week, one student would choose a thought-provoking question. That week in 2006, the thought-provoking question was, "What is your biggest fear?"

Each student stood up and shared. As always when the circle came around to me, I, too, shared. That day, I acknowledged in front of an entire class of students that my biggest fear was singing. After the bell ended class, one of the seniors that had been in my classes all four years, called me on the carpet.  She graciously exclaimed, "Wait a minute. Why is it that you are making us face our fear each week, and you're not facing yours?" In that moment, I didn’t' have an answer. What she asked was true. Nearly two thirds of class shared that their biggest fear was speaking in front of people and I was asking them to do just that each week.

That student asked me another thought-provoking question that I pondered over the next several weeks. And when the day came to celebrate our graduating seniors in what we called our Senior Send Off, I finally chose to face my biggest fear, with the help of my students.  During that class, I sang. . .Row. Row. Row your boat. . .in rounds. One time all the way through, alone with three groups singing joining together in rounds. It may sound simple for some.  However, it was quite the feat for me as my singing voice had been shut down for nearly forty years.  For four decades, I even mouthed the words to "Happy Birthday."  Singing in class that day was terrifying.

Today, I know that my voice is the genius gift I have come to share with the world. Even though I'm still living into what it truly means, tonight, I offer you my unique Gift of Love, and allow my unique heart song to play through the Language of Light* that flows through me from God into the Heart of Matter.

This drawing was produced by an anonymous artist and posted on the sharing wall at the Holistic Teaching and Learning Conference the morning after Deborah shared her story and Light Language transmission on stage during the open mic.


www.HeartListen.com



*The Language of Light transcends all other languages formed on the earth plane and is without translation. It speaks directly to the soul--the Heart of Matter. There are some whose gift it is to illustrate Light Language through symbols of color, line and form. Deborah O. Baker is fluent in speaking, signing, and singing Light Language.